Art Making in the Moment

Mid Term II: Part I Written circa 2012.
I know that art does not exist in a vacuum, everything has influence upon it, but to preface what I am about to discuss, I want to quote Erica Jong in her book Seducing the Demon: Writing for my Life on page 168, “…writing is a lot like acting. You get ready, study, learn, memorize, rehearse and then forget all the effort and fly. Probably all the arts are like that: intense effort, which must be absorbed into your being…” I know I have learned countless amounts through my education, but when I sit down to a new work, I feel as if I know nothing about art and they are no learned boundaries that stuck with me.

One of the most difficult concepts I have had to come to terms with is audience. They make me embarrassed. With their asking why did you do this, what does this mean? My best blanket answer is to leave it up to them, but I feel challenged. Before I began taking courses that taught me the importance of art, art just existed. Art was what I did, constantly, without thinking about the social implications, without thinking what others would think or say, without a point. Art existed in a vacuum for me. The obsessive nature of painting, the addictive ways of photography, the near mental hospital effects that writing and thinking had on me, art becomes a lifestyle, art absorbs life, art becomes the only way to exist, the only thing to do or know, if I let it. Art is a wild beast; the Fauvs know what I am talking about, especially in regards to color. When Matisse tried to tame the wild colorful beasts…