Future Commitments

This life lesson is supposed to be about not committing to activities I’d like to do too far in advance. I’ve frequently relearned that lesson this year (November 2023), 3 or 4 times in fact, but the flip side of this feels like how will I get big things done if I don’t commit to big projects and ideas in advance. Life is full of conundrums. I don’t have all the answers, just the ones I’ve learned, and what I’ve learned this year is that if I commit to something too far in the future, like going on a cruise, or doing YTT, or hanging out with a certain person several weeks from now, my interests may change and I’m left with a certain sense of dread and anxiety over my over-commitments. I do still have a trip coming up a few months in the future that I am looking forward to, but it is something similar to what I did last year and enjoyed immensely. Perhaps it is not to commit to new things too far in advance. Perhaps it is to stave off impulsiveness and instead thoroughly think over things before saying yes to them. Perhaps it is to try new things now, while they still sound interesting, instead of waiting until I’ve grown through the ghost of a good idea. I do still love new things, and the idea of planning a big thing that takes some time and is in the future. Perhaps it is easier for me to see the tress through the forest, when I’m standing right next to them.

I did it again (February 2024), with a writing conference this time. I was beyond thrilled when I signed up, put the deposit down, and now that the time is close approaching, I’m questioning myself as a writer. I’m…