Monogam-ish (When you start being temped to cheat, open up and tell your partner…you may find a pleasant surprise on the other side.)

From a young age I wanted to do more than kissing, I didn’t know what it quite was yet, but I knew I wanted to try. I finally found a fellow virgin to lose my virginity to, and was deeply in love with him, but within about 6 months, I found myself wanting to sleep with a girl.

The instinct to sleep with more than one person is natural. But when you try to hide, suppress, or go around your partner’s back to cheat, is a recipe for disaster. If you’ve felt those urges, why not open up and say, wow, I’m attracted to the grocer at the supermarket and see what your partner says. They may be a bit horrified and try to spice things up in the bedroom so you don’t have to look outside your partnership or they may say, I thought they were hot too and you have an exciting new topic to discuss.

I’ve been taking it a bit further than that with my current partner and I feel like each time we have an outside encounter I’m left feeling stronger in my primary relationship and less trapped.

I sometimes feel like monogamy and marriage are a trap, yes, I think I could love someone for the rest of my life, but to only have sex with them for the rest of my life (especially when I like people of all sexes) seems a bit far fetched to me. During covid, we were locked down like everyone else and I felt a bit more trapped than usual, most people probably did. But…